On the eve of launching our first journal, I reflect on the ingredients which have led to a printed journal on display in my soul place, Hollyhock.
Buying the sweets – Take action
There’s something about revisiting old note books. Seeing where we’ve come from. What thoughts we possessed. Our current truth. As I devour my notes from Tues 5th Aug 2014 when I first met The Modern Day Wizard. I was lost. Which direction to take? Spoilt in that I could take any. But none of them really tapped in to my passion. None of them answered my prayers. None of them jumped with excitement. His observation, that I portrayed an energy of fear, and his guidance, ‘A need to go backwards before I can grow and continue to develop.’ As slow and painful as that seemed. It was my truth. I was craving long term support and guidance. And here, sitting on that cushion, putting myself in that line of questioning, was the start of an investment in myself. Most importantly, commitment to myself.
Random selection – Let go
At the heart of my belief, is the power of letting go. Imperative to living a fulfilled life. Letting go of pain, the past, projection of the future, of memories, of everything. It relates to being in the moment, and an acknowledgement that control doesn’t exist. Soulhub started from a seed. Verbalised at the Oprah Winfrey ‘Get the life you want’ weekend. Cemented during quiet moments such as in the midst of kundalini yoga, walking in the park, lying in the dark. Those moments before fear once again said, you can’t do it. Let go of the fear. Let go of the enormity of what I want to achieve and build. I believe purpose requires a vision, but stating it and letting the rest happen gives it the best chance of life. Soulhub will become a place for people to come for connection, therapy, to meet like minded souls and to drink latte. It will. How that happens. I don’t know. But I do know that it is happening. The name. The blog site. Our first beautiful event with Maren. And now our first Journal.
The love hearts – Friends and family
Without them this is nothing. Without them Soulhub would have remained that seed. Those who’s faces light up when I share my dream. Who’s smiles say it all. Who relentlessly remind me that it is possible, and say ‘it’s really happening’. Friends who know you can do it. Believe in you. And want to help to do that. Be it giving money from their own pockets. Turning up for our events. Recommending Soulhub, connecting us to like-minded souls, writing, sharing and supporting with all their belief. Family who challenge you. Prod the cause. The reason. Helped me shape it, and continue to shape it.
Full colours – All of it
As with everything in life. There’s the yin to the yang. Love and fear. Anger and joy. This is no difference. If it was easy it wouldn’t feel so beautiful. Don’t get me wrong. It flowed. The alignment is spot on. After 20 years I’m doing what I love. There’s hues within the colour. Those who have said they’re not ready or able to contribute their writing. The failed kickstarter campaign. Sickness. Over-giving. Busy schedules. All come with their own challenges and need to navigate solutions. But if all of this had happened in weeks of deciding what I wanted, it wouldn’t mean the same. The Olympic gold medalist reaps the high because of dedication and sacrifice.
Glass jar – Containment
I’d love to be working full time on Soulhub to have had the funds to dedicate my time and resource to creating the dream. But that’s not my reality. And it’s not, for a reason. The story is the balance. The story is finding the space to do it. To saying no to other stuff. And that’s been the test. How much do I really want it? What will I give up. Because I too can’t do it all. And in fact that’s been the biggest lesson. Giving up nights out. Boozing. Choosing to write. To collaborate. Creating the space for the writers to appear. Sometimes we say we want something and yet we don’t really take the actions to do it. For some, that’s because they don’t want it, and for others there’s a fear of what that could really mean. I listen much more intently about others intentions, as a mirror to my own. What’s the point on lying to ourselves? But we do, daily. Saying I’d love to live abroad. I’d love to have my own business. I’d love to be in a relationship. Go on then. What’s stopping you.