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Soulhub Journal 05: The Backstory

‘You do know that 5, is transformation. Of course I’ll write.’ Andrew

And we wonder. What will Soulhub Journal 05 transform. Will it be the butterfly to bring these stories to more of those who are waiting to hear something for themselves. How to work with intention. How to live in a fertile existence. How to move out of a toxic relationship. This issue is full of wisdom.

Thank you Wizard for that intention.

And so to how these incredible people have ended up writing for us. As I always say, this is my favourite part of Soulhub. The Journal is my biggest teacher. Allowing. Opening. Flowing. Letting go. It all shows up in the production of each Journal.

Let’s meet the team.

Starting with the wand. The wizard. No doubt you will have read my personal journey (Soulhub Journal 04) and how I ended up standing on coloured blankets in front of Andrew Wallas. The Modern Day Wizard. One strong memory I have, is during an exercise where he was an ‘available man’ and I retracted from him. He taught me so much. My fear of intimacy. My inner grief of not bearing my own child. But also, how to play with the joy of life. Andrew mixes pain and pleasure. He knows both ends of the spectrum. He holds space beautifully and is very clear in his vision of the world and what the world needs. He’s amazing at cuddles. He’s amazing in being able to help others transform. I owe so much to this part of my life to Andrew, and I also now see how I’ve flourished, and Soulhub has come about, very much from my ability to stand in ‘interdependence’. Funny that we found ourselves here. Me asking Andrew to write for this journal. I’m always learning…

Whilst on those blankets, I wrapped myself alongside Emma Cannon. We both graduated, with petals thrown on us, with our sanity in check. Some may argue. Emma was by sister throughout. The bond we, and others, created during those 2 years of Wizard School was like no other. The pure gratitude to witness her growth. Her to hold my pain. Mine hers. To see her let things go, To shred skins. To blossom. To explode. There’s nothing more precious in this lifetime to bear witness to others. And others to you. We often believe (I did) that it was about being strong and proving yourself. And what b**** that is. It’s the opposite of that. Emma is a beautiful women who knows sacrifice and survival. She knows bravery and joyfulness. She stands up for her believes. She champions women through her fertility work. Breaking barriers. Creating new stories. I love her, and her work. Thank you sister.

Back in the day. When I was caught up in partying at football tournaments in Lisbon, with Jamie Redknapp and Bobby Robson. Yes it was fun and wild. During those times, especially in the world of football, I’d always be on the search for genuine souls. Those who would treat you with respect, whatever your level! I was a mere marketing manager! And Paul Armstrong, was one of those. Amongst the crew from the BBC, he was kind, always up for chatting, and was no snob to levelling! So we connected, and it wasn’t until years later, that we reconnected over his new book. We had coffee, and who knows, here we are. We’ve met at the cricket, we both enjoy live sport still, and he has stories to share. Especially this one. So thanks Paul for trusting this, and for becoming a Soulhubber…

Staying on the theme of football. What I love, is that Soulhub is for everyone. We all have souls. And so it’s not ‘woo-woo’ and only for hippies. It’s for anyone who wants to be inspired. Who is curious about life. And Jason Mohammad is one of those men. Curious about people. Curious about cultures. His writings go to the heart of culture, and as you read his article, you can feel his eyes well-up and his heart open. We met on the banks of the River Thames. Whilst covering The Boat Races, Jason and I connected over making the tea in the media tent. We talked about health. About sport. We ‘went deep’ as they say, and once again, the heart opens and you know you see their souls, and they see yours. And that bond is made, and it connects as and when. And so I follow his work with a keen eye, and listen to what he’s saying about people. And I like it. So thank you Jason.

You don’t have to be in your wellies on the river banks to make these connections. Social media does also play a magical role. Katie Sollohub. I even type it wrong! It’s the perfect combination isn’t it. Katie saw the logo and couldn’t believe it. It was as if it was her name wrapped up in the black and white scripture. She reached out. We chatted. We both felt, there was more. I asked her to paint. She said she preferred to write, and write she did. About her daily practices, which inspire me. When she sent me her submission, I was without our front cover. Walking along the Thames Path with my friend Tess, I showed Tess some of Katie’s art she sent to accompany her article and I said to Tess ‘oh wow, that would be an amazing front cover’. And in her email, she was giving me permission to use it. “if you like it”. Absolutely. And so the blank page was filled. Perfect timing. As always. We’ve since met on Shoreham-by-Sea beaches, walked, talked, drank tea, and got to share part of us. We recorded an episode for The Soulwalker Podcast. It was windy! A gentle soul, with a fiery kick, and so much more to be discovered. We will share more experiences and create more, I’m sure.

Our front cover artist from SH02 is Debra Luker, and when we last walked in the park, we talked about our creative outputs. And he introduced me to the idea of calligraphy with Alice Gabb. The thread was thread, and off we went. I met Alice in the gardens in East London. She was wearing a lilac all-in-one cute outfit, and I was envious of her creative existence. I need more lilac in my wardrobe! My intention was a front cover. But front cover it wasn’t meant to be. And Alice offered to bring one of our Soulhub Truths to life. It was that simple. Grace and Ease. A lover of Cornwall and the coast, and an artist heart and flair, I loved her energy and fully embrace bringing that into our journal. Delightful. Her art is beautiful, and you can almost see her sitting there in her studio as she creates.

Art is not something which comes too easily to me. And so incorporating it into the Journals bring me great joy. It’s teaching me each time. The artists are teaching me. Rachel Ellis. A woman who’s femininity oozes. She flows. She’s gentle. She’s beautiful. She is clear about her passion. She trys not to conform in this world, and is a young woman carving her own path. Sister to a friend of mine Sarah, I’m grateful for our brief connection years back. But she’s forever in my thoughts. And I’m willing her on. And interestingly she picked and bought this Soulhub Truth to life. ‘You are everything. You have to integrate it all.’

Mr Moore. Mr Jason Moore. The weave of the Journal. Sam Trinder, our Soulhub Journal 04 writer and owner of Bhuti invited some random friends for dinner. Not knowing who and quite what might unfold, we all came along. And it was one of those nights. We looked at our watches and it was 1am. The conversation flowed. The energy in the room was open, welcoming, accepting and generous. We bought our hearts. Our heartaches. Our loneliness. And within that. Jason and I made our first thread! He took the journal and read it, and wanted to be part of it. Whatever he felt, it felt real and safe. And that is the most important part of Soulhub. It’s safe. And people trust us with their words. With their hearts and with their stories. Jason has done exactly that. Written about something very true and real and painful. An abusive relationship. And from that space, you can feel his transformation. You can feel the butterfly preparing its wings. And this feels like part of his healing. And I’m grateful for that. For being part of that. And once again, we’ve shared moments since. Jason joined us on our Hyde Park Soulwalk, and we walked, talked, drank coffee. Because life is that simple sometimes. And we met where we left off. Open and open-hearted.

Both Jason and Elsa have written about times in their lives which have much pain. Elsa Buck was introduced to me by her beautiful daughter at a HubDot event. I think it was the Camino chat which sparked the conversation. It was the end of the evening, and so as we were ushered out, we very quickly decided that this wasn’t the end of the conversation. I was invited around for coffee, and within days we were sitting in Elsa’s lounge debating life. Debating the complexity and simplicity. How therapy has moved on. How it doesn’t always have to be complicated. How quick transformation is happening. How consciousness is incredible. We’re living in speedy times. Elsa was open. She’s kind. Generous and curious. We’ve bought women together to work on ‘aspectology’ and the integration of all parts of us. We’ve had powerful and freeing conversations. We have mutual admiration and beautiful moments. More to come…

And from one beautiful soul to another. Kwali Kumara. Not kundalini, as I was referring to her for a while. Vibrant. Charismatic. True to her self. Our dear soul sister Maren Lander bought us together through the Dark Goddess retreat. Kwali and Maren have created the most wonderful space with femininity expressed in a gentle, full hearted, connected way. For healing. For empowerment. For ‘nothing is wrong here’. Shamanic. Kundalini. Serpeants. It has it all. I loved her energy. I wanted to share her work wider. I want others to feel this stuff. Touch it. Question themselves. Open their hearts. When I saw myself holding her serpents, I knew something special had happened. This wasn’t the Carmen partying in Lisbon. Of course, this is just another part of me. But a part I don’t always know how to connect to. And Kwali showed me how to. With grace. With openness and acceptance. We are it all.

From shamans to cycling. We are it all. Rachel Roxburgh is a woman creating waves in another way. Standing up for good in the world. Pioneering how change can happen. She’s had enough of violence and cruelty and is working in difficult areas, with young men, to help show they that there is another way. And stepping out of her own comfort zone to cycle in the often ‘alpha male’ sport and show to herself that she can do it. Rachel put on her cleats, got on the bike, and rode those mountains. She’s welcomed me. She’s supportive of what we do, and has a heart that knows what we all can do, and wants to help others on their quests. We like a glass of wine. We like to champion change. We like to soften masculinity. Go Rach.

Another connection through HubDot. Mark watched me open my soul, talking about not having children. It was raw. I shook. I didn’t even know what I said on stage that night. It was another healing moment, and he felt it. Up he came, as he saw something he liked. And I in him. Mark Pitcher. Another champion. A man who is standing up for what he believes and carves out a voice for others to be heard. He wants to share stories with the world. So that’s why we get on! We could chat for hours, forever. We do. He asked me on his Smash the Box podcast, and made me feel so comfortable, I think I talked about everything aside from sex. We need to do a follow up! He’s in my corner. I’m in his. He feels. He’s open about it. And I think we’ll share so much more in our lives. Not least a Soulwalk with his family on our walk around the British Isles.

Dylan Ayaloo. A shining soul. Introduced via Rachel Roxburgh, via Krystal Rox, Who simply said. ‘You need to meet Dylan’ over a glass of wine in the House of St Barnabas. So out I reached. I only need to be told once. He was up for breakfast by the canal in East London. I don’t know East London, so I’m always up for an adventure too. All the way over there! And when I met him. I was caught working out if he was so laid back he’d fall down, or shy. Probably both. But his calm vibes were captivating and I enjoyed being in his company. From there we met, I’ve been killed in his yoga classes, and I’ve witnessed him in his full flow, on stage at Awaken. His transformational programme. Quite something to see him hold the room. And beautiful to see that us humans can do that. Without judgement. With just an intention to help others make change in their lives. He does great work. He makes me smile. He makes me want to hug him.

From hugging one man to another. Phil Liggett. The voice of cycling. A purely gentleman. His energy reaches you before you speak. And I was fortunate to work with him at the World Road Cycling Championships. ‘You must meet my wife’. Oh must I. Here we go again. And yes, he was right. Trish Liggett is bubbles in a champagne glass. She’s vibrant. She’s a dancer and her body flows through life. She’s captivating and fun. And you just want to hang out with her. Dance with her. Play with her. We didn’t talk all that long, but we knew there was something to uncover. And off she went. To write. We had little time to get the piece in this issue. But what was beautiful is that what the piece was originally about became something different. But what it’s meant to be. Not about Phil and their lives in Africa, which was my original intention, but about their work in Africa and her life. I know you’ll love this feature.

The camino gave me such joy. The people in particular. Andra Remes wrote for SH03, and when we met in Strasbourg, Sumitra Gopal came over for dinner. Striking, captivating and a unique blend of energy and knowledge. I got that she got it. Got what I was about, and what I want to do in the world. So when she was in London we sat in the heat of the day on the south bank and put the world to right! Hours later, I asked her to write, as she has a powerful story to share. And if I can help in any way on that journey, then it’s pure pleasure. I love that this journal reaches France, Spain and Asia all in one go. That there are no boundaries. They are no differences. We’re all one. And Sumitra reminds me of that. Thank you darling.

And so. Soulhub Journal 05. Time for you to unearth. To be set free in the world. To bring magic. To bring heart.

And as always. Only made possible through interdependence. Through the energy, support and commitment of our team. Perry Rendell, has handed over the reigns to my dear friend, hot chocolate and mince pie buddy, the wonderful Phil Bennett. Perry. Thank you. Soulhub wouldn’t be here without you. You are a rock for me. A big brother. A best friend. And I thank you for all our time spent mulling over these pages. For your vision. Your creative bow. Your commitment. You’re a darling. (I’m sure it’s not fully the end!) And to Phil. Here we go baby. One tremendous journey is unfolding. Glad to have you by my side.

And to my other partner in crime. Natalie Hewlett. An ask is never too much. Late drafts. Rubbishly formatted. Send over in dribs and drabs. And she unravels it all. The words are crafted and they then make sense. (Can you copywrite this too Nats!). And to Paul. Who lets me slowly pay him. Which has saved this journal on a number of occasions, as we do this for love, as we all belief that it’s not about the money. It’s about the energy it puts out there in the world. And Paul gets this to print in time. He makes my life easy. And he really really makes me laugh.

And our final thank you. To Gemma Screen and Lee Bolam at Extract Coffee Roasters. As you all know I LOVE COFFEE, and what perfect partner. A brand that’s conscious. Sustainable in its process. That makes tones and tones of coffee. Yes please. Gemma saw the Soulhub Journal at the Do Lectures in 2018 and came to me as she got it. She got the vibe. The intention. And we’re helping share their story. We’ve held our first Soulwalk in Bristol, with Mona from Extract Coffee, and we hope to hold more together, as we both come from the same heart space. Thanks both.

Please enjoy the stories. Please share them. Please tell everyone you know and share your pictures of wherever you take it, with us. We love to know where it ends up. From Africa to Australia, Canada, Lebanon or Brazil.

Love ya. Grace and Ease….

To ORDER your copy – Soulhub Journal 05


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