And one of the hardest things to let go of can be the thought of how we think things should be. Rather than having an acceptance of how things are.
I can recall a number of situations, both in my personal life and working life, where things haven’t turned out as I had envisaged. And boy did I rail against it at the time. “But I deserve this, I’m owed this” I would cry (sometimes inwardly, sometimes not!). Metaphorically stamping my feet through frustration and disappointment.
Not only do we feel the loss of something that may not have existed, but we are also called to challenge ourselves and be brave enough to imagine a different path – without the certainty that it will work out either.
But just as we watch things fall way and decay in the autumn and winter, we have to trust and hope that new things will come in the spring. And sometimes having a quiet faith that things will turn out ok in the end is what helps us to find the courage to keep going. When we lose something, or someone, that has been really important to us, it is so easy to keep replaying the hurt and anger over in our minds, and it can harden our hearts. It makes us reluctant to get hurt again. But that only stifles our own growth, and we miss out on the lessons that the experience is trying to teach us.
The key to all things, in nature and in ourselves, is that we need to accept the impermanence. Accept that change is inevitable. That when we experience the good times, we are all the more grateful because we know things won’t always be this way. And when going through the inevitable difficult phases of life, that they will end too. Learning to ride with the waves because this too is just a phase of life – a season.
Approaching life with an attitude of grace and acceptance needn’t be seen as weak or feeble. In fact, knowing that we are able to work with whatever comes, for however long it comes, can actually help us to reach out for more.
Go gracefully and do not fear the letting go. Instead, try and welcome what it brings your way.
Guest writer: Gillian Adams is the founder of the “Start a Little Fire” blog, and is a passionate advocate for lifelong learning and development. She believes that a life well lived is one which encourages all of those things which spark something in us, and which make us unique.
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