The term wellbeing has fast become an almost meaningless term due to its vastness and complexity which is now trying to be squeezed into a commercial profit making exercise.
The following blog is purely my own current opinions and beliefs based upon my life experience and healing journey. I hope it resonates with you. If not I hope it at least challenges you to become curious and ask deeper or different questions.
What wellbeing is NOT
Holistic wellbeing is not the excessive power and material wealth displayed on all the perfect social media, advertising images or the horror inducing news channels that together make us all feel inadequate and fearful unless we purchase or do x, y or z, to boost our egos or distract and dull us from our fears and pains. This fear driven CULTure is not only leading to an unsustainable rate of consumption and destruction of planetary resources but also to the erosion of the very fundamental fabric of our physical, mental and emotional wellbeing.
It is not single process to achieve a static goal! There is no one-off “silver bullet”, special diet, medication, fancy or expensive machine, book, guru, therapy or secret and exclusive hidden doorway and path to holistic wellbeing.
It is not about being happy or positive all the time, it is about appreciating and expressing the full array of emotions with compassion and responsibility to the NOW in order to not be triggered into historically programmed egoic reactions that perpetuate fear, trauma or dis-ease. If you have ever been truly depressed you will know what emotional numbness is. When you not able to laugh or cry.
Getting back to what is truly important
In many developed countries it seems we have forgotten the essential foundation for our survival shown in Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. We seem to have inverted it, by prioritising individual self-esteem and self-actualisation over basic physiological need for healthy food, air, water, clothing and shelter! We exploit and pollute our natural resources in our attempt to fill the gaping hole of disconnection and discontent we feel towards ourselves, others and nature.
Who are you and where do you belong
Wellbeing is a level of awareness, perspective, understanding and trust, of who you truly are as well as your place and purpose within the great symphony of life. In order to get up enthusiastically every morning we need meaning and purpose in our lives.
Whether you put your understanding, confidence and trust in science or a religious/spiritual faith, it is the foundation for all your thoughts, actions and wellbeing. It does not matter who or what you believe in, as long as it encourages you to continuously act and seek out honesty, kindness and harmony with all life.
Both science and spirituality teaches that the essence all life is ENERGY, from the microscopic to the macroscopic. It works in repetitive patterns of spirals, vibrational waves and particles of opposites. In other words what comes around, goes around or what goes up always comes down but also what goes down will also rise again, but not as before. AND what happens to one will affect the whole. For the nature of energy is so complex, all-encompassing, permeating and indestructible. It simply travels and transforms at varying speeds whether it be light, sound, heat, mechanical, gravitational, electrical, chemical, nuclear or atomic. Manifesting as earth, wind, fire, water, lightening, plants, animals and of course emotions (energy in motion).
It is a state of mind, an awareness and a perspective, an inner and outer dance of managing and balancing a wide variety of apposing and interrelating energetic forces. We are both autonomously lived and also have the free will to intentionally choose how we live and die. Choosing wellness means choosing to live in harmony, balance, integrity and alignment of thoughts, words and actions that create our moment to moment moment-um of wellbeing.
Suffering is only resistance to what is and/or to change
Change is the only constant and absolutely nothing lasts forever, not even planets. Everything is in a constant cycle of growth or decay. Yet it’s something most people fear and this resistance to what is and to change is what brings about much of our stress and dis-ease. We generally assume that what is around the corner is more or less than favourable to what we have now. Hence we do not truly live in the now. This continual assumption and worry of the past and future erodes the foundation of our health and future. We need to use the winds of change to sail in our chosen direction but also to allow our direction to change. It is not what happens to us but how it fits into our narrative of life that determines our identity and response.
Everything is interdependent
Holistic wellbeing is simply the consistent practice of nourishing, resting, balancing and harmonising of mind, body and soul. It is the deep understanding and application of exactly how our thoughts and emotions directly affect our physical health and vice-versa with our physical state particularly, but not limited to, our gut health which affects our thoughts, emotions and whole physicality.
Holistic wellbeing is also the understanding and faith that all life is interdependent and, if well managed, is harmonious, balanced, abundant and sustainable. But not when fear is the dominant emotion that leads to greed, addiction, over consumption, imbalance and disharmony. Wellbeing is therefore both an individual and collective pursuit. What we do to another we do to ourselves and hence we cannot continue to live, work and treat life as isolated boxes or silos with no appreciation or respect of the interdependent whole.
It’s therefore our responsibility to gain greater awareness into the subconscious programs that drive all our thoughts, words and actions with the intention of reducing the amount of unnecessary and illogical fear and disconnection to ourselves and those around us.
The buck stops here
Wellbeing is simply, but not always easily, a consistent practice of radical honesty, compassionate responsibility and integrity to not only others but to ourselves. In other words becoming truly present with what is happening in your life. So no denial, avoidance, distracting or numbing of what is out of balance, integrity or alignment. In other words when we think or say one thing and do something else. Not to at all discount the fact that enjoying fun and pleasurable things some of the time can help give us the mental and emotional space or clarity to deal with what is causing the dis-ease or suffering. But when life is fully aligned…WOW the flow and harmony is incredible!
Radical honesty and responsibility are powerful wellbeing forces. To the degree in which we can express ourselves honestly is the degree to which we, and others, get to know and trust who we truly are and as a result we get more of what we want. Clear signal out, clear signal back.
If we do not take responsibility for all the lies, even the tiny little “white” ones we tell ourselves and others that form the hypocritical, misaligned dis-eased state of our lives, we will never be free from fear and traumas of the past that perpetuate our sins and diseases.
Lies poison the body, confuse the mind, chain the heart, weigh the soul and destroy relationship to all life.
If we want to talk seriously about living socially responsible lives, we need to address ALL our lifestyle choices, which when out of balance, addictive, cause incredible amounts of suffering and sometimes even death of ourselves and others such as over consumption or speeding, private or corporate manipulation through lying, hypocrisy, stealing…it is not just the choice of whether to take an injection or not.
It is vital that we become aware and discerning of how and why we do what we do. Are our actions and addictions just bringing us short term pleasure to numb or distract us or are they investments in long term health and happiness for all?
Wellbeing is a dance. A continuous practice of finding balance, alignment, integration and loving connection within the contrasting polarities of life. A balance of masculine courage and effort (DOING) with the feminine surrender and ease (BEING) that creates the flow of harmony and wellbeing.
Andrew Cuerden
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